Jennifer Aniston

Jennifer Aniston doesn’t want anyone talking about her personal life, saying things like she lost Brad Pitt because she wouldn’t give him the kids he so badly wanted, and that Brad Pitt traded up by going for Angelina (and seems really happy), or that Jen’s personal life is nothing short of tragic now that her clock is ticking but now that she might actually be ready to have kids, she’s lost the best man she’s ever going to find…please, stop saying things like that about poor Jen.

Star magazine is reporting that Jennifer Aniston has been having some body issues since she started going out with John Mayer. The dude is about 10 years younger than Jen, and his past love interests have included  Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Love Hewitt. They’re both young and busty, and the story is that Jen feels she doesn’t measure up to John’s “standards” and is thinking of spending about 100 g’s on lipo, collagen, cellulite treatments, teeth whitening, body wraps, and a boob job!

We just want to say something – don’t do it, Jen. You look great, and we like the fact that you’re not all hacked up beyond recognition. We don’t want to see you sporting puffy duck lips and DD’s. Cellulite treatment? What cellulite? Last time we checked out your backside in a bikini it was lookin’ pretty smooth.

According to the magazine, Jennifer Aniston also wants some tattoos because John Mayer would like her being spontaneous.  Do they even know what spontaneous means? If it were spontaneous, it wouldn’t be in a magazine before it even happens. Star says Jen is interested in getting tattoos in the two places I’m really sick of seeing them on chicks: the lower back and the ankle. I vote no on this, in case you’re reading, Jen.

I have to wonder though, is all this really about John Mayer, Jessica Simpson, and Jennifer Love Hewitt? Or is it about Brad Pitt and a certain big-boobed & tattooed younger babe.